China, Mexico, U.S. Ink High-Speed Rail Belt And Road Initiative

As Inauguration Day 2021 approaches, details of the Harris/Biden One Hundred Day Agenda have begun to leak out. As part of the Harris/Biden $2T Covid-19 stimulus bill, the U.S. has agreed to allocate $600B toward a tri-nation Belt and Road infrastructure partnership with China and Mexico.

“Along with our Mexican and American partners, we will build a high-speed rail line from Tapachula, located near Mexico’s southern border, to Tijuana, at the northern border,” announced Ho Lee Fuk, the Chinese project manager overseeing the project. “This rail service will provide one-way, nonstop, high-speed rail service to millions of free-range migratory people who would otherwise be forced to make the 4,000-kilometer journey on foot.”

Eduardo Aguera-Gaucho, Mexican government spokesman, agreed.

“It’s time that Mexico embraces her role as a conduit between north and south. Now that the American southern border will reopen on January 20th, this rail line will serve as an essential link between peoples across imaginary lines on a map agreed upon by international convention.”

When pressed on how the Mexican government would finance their contribution to the project, Aguera-Gaucho avoided specifics. “As with many of their Belt and Road Initiatives, the Chinese government will bear the project costs in exchange for certain considerations, which we are not prepared to discuss at this time.”

“We welcome the opportunity to work closely with our Chinese and Mexican allies,” said Phil McKracken, head of public affairs for Big Guy Equity, the Delaware-based company tapped to honcho American contributions to the project. “When completed, the rail service will ensure that free-range migratory people of Central and South America arrive in the U.S. well rested and ready to do jobs that Americans might otherwise do.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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