Sac Brie Quick Take: Twitter Bans Themselves

In a shocking moment of self-awareness, Twitter banned themselves from using their own service. The Twitter Global Public Policy team released the following statement via their Gab account:

“After our Global Public Policy tweets protesting suppression of free speech by internet service providers in Uganda, we realized we were guilty of the same offenses. Therefore, we are taking the unprecedented step of banning ourselves from our own service. However, we will continue our current policy of banning speech the DNC and CCP consider dangerous.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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