Sac Brie Quick Take: Lori Loughlin Not Indicted In Electoral College Admissions Scandal

Federal authorities have confirmed to the Sacramento Brie that former “Full House” cast member Lori Loughlin has not been indicted in an Electoral College admissions scandal.

In a related story, 56-year-old Loughlin has reportedly inked a deal for a new reality TV series, “From Full House to the Big House” which will focus on her time in jail.

“It’s basically “Orange is the New Black” meets “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,” one long-time friend of Loughlin’s told the Brie.

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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