New Queso Joins The Brie

The Sacramento Brie is pleased to announce there’s a new queso on the staff. Girth McFestus, world traveler and fugitive from the Law of Averages, has joined the Brie.

“I hope to contribute as much acerbic content as my brother from another father, Huey P. Newsom,” McFestus told Brie staff when questioned his motives for joining the Brie. “The world is in desperate need of a good lampooning, and my lampoon is as sharp as they come.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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