The campaign website for Joe Biden unveiled a new name for his proposed national healthcare plan after Thursday’s second presidential debate.
“BidenCare, the healthcare plan’s previous name, reminded too many people that Trump once said ‘Joe Biden is the same rotting corpse of a candidate he was three weeks ago,'” said campaign chair Jennifer O’Malley Dillon. “That was completely false, but people just couldn’t get it out of their heads. AmeriCorpse has a much better ring to it.”
The new name resonates with multiple demographics that are voting for Biden, including people who wish Donald Trump would die, people who are afraid Trump’s new COVID vaccine will kill them, and people who think racism has already killed America.
According to Biden’s personal physician, Joe is “healthy as Donald Trump” in spite of being treated for an irregular heartbeat, high cholesterol, acid reflux, seasonal allergies, diverticulosis, a cerebral aneurysm, a non-cancerous tubular adenoma in his colon, several localized, non-melanoma skin cancers, and problems with his prostate and gallbladder. He is also receiving multiple physical therapy treatments for various sports medicine and orthopedic injuries.
“Joe Biden is completely asymptomatic and undergoing close and constant surveillance,” the doctor said. “But as his doctor, I could never allow him to be treated under any national healthcare plan he signs into law. It would be a violation of my hippocratic oath.”