Fake WHAT? Jeffrey Toobin fired for ‘fake orgasm’ in Zoom meeting?

CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, who has also worked as a staff writer for the New Yorker magazine for more than 25 years, had his Condé Nast email account disabled after he allegedly faked an orgasm on a corporate Zoom call.

“We can’t have our employees faking orgasms in corporate meetings,” said a joint statement by CNN and Condé Nast. “Imagine what that would do to our brands.”

Both organizations also said they demand real orgasms from their employees, “but only when clear intentions are set, letting the universe know the minutiae of the their vision, and then using Color Magic to elevate manifestation before releasing one’s personal energy into the staff meeting.”

O.J. Simpson said, “Damn.”

Condé Nast owns Allure, GQ, The New Yorker, GQ, Vogue, Teen Vogue, and Glamour, among other print and online publications.

CNN, which owns Anderson Cooper — who once received a fake blowjob from Kathy Griffin on live television — said, “What, Me worry?

Editor’s Note: Updated with additional quotes from the joint statement, and clarifying that Toobin’s wanking was magic.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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