Scientists at U.C. Berkeley’s Van Pelt Institute of Self-Esteem released a peer-reviewed study today, confirming that white children have more self-confidence after denouncing themselves as irredeemable racists.
“The science is settled,” said lead researcher Dr. Aleksandra Asilas. “As gatekeepers, white adults who were raised to believe Martin Luther King Jr.’s dictum that character is more important than color have done enormous harm to their children.”
The new pedagogical paradigm, said Dr. Asilas, is for parents to focus exclusively on the color of their children’s skin and teach them to ignore everyone’s character including their own.
“When we teach all children that every white person is objectively racist, and every person of color should tolerate them only if they denounce themselves, the sticky subjective problems of ethics and morality become moot,” said Dr. Asilas.
The study estimates that white people will feel so good about their incurable inner racist that racism will become a thing of the past within three generations.
“The study does admit the slight possibility that a worldwide race war could erupt first,” Dr. Asilas said. “But if that happens, it will just prove that all white people are evil.”