Sen. Kamala Harris (C-San Francisco) pledged last week to launch a new American youth program named after her new Secret Service code name, “Pioneer.”
Less than 100 hours after her speech at the Democrat party convention, Harris has made good on her promise, mobilizing a nationwide group of Young Pioneers, aged 9-14, just in time to defend the country against the Nazi National Convention.
“We are engaged in a Great Patriotic War for the soul of America, a desperate struggle against the bourgeoisie,” Harris said at the deployment ceremony of the Kamala Harris All-American Pioneer Organization, the official name of the group.
“Vice presidential candidates usually have little to do with a campaign, but this year is different,” Harris said. “My battalions will take the fight directly to the enemy, while Joe’s group of Little Novemberists, ages 7-9, will enjoy swimming and stroking Mr. Biden’s leg hair.”
Youths have been assigned positions on every social media platform, where they will engage in struggle sessions with friends, family, and complete strangers. Others have been placed in strategic locations in the city of Charlotte, NC, with orders to cut supply lines and otherwise harass the enemy.
While Harris promised a quick encirclement and destruction of enemy forces, Marcia Lee Kelly, President and CEO of the 2020 Nazi National Convention, said the convention will continue as planned.
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