“Joe Biden’s focus group nailed it by picking former prosecutor and attorney general Kamala Harris as his running mate,” former president Barack Obama said today. “I spoke to Joe and he said all cops are bitchez now.”
Other Democrat leaders say Harris endows the Biden campaign with the opportunity to perform a “law enforcement pivot” without kneeling.
Stacey Abrams, the Governor of Alt-Georgia, said picking Harris means Biden won’t have to crawl naked over broken glass to wash Al Sharpton’s body with rosewater.
Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, who was also said to be on Biden’s VP list, tweeted that Biden and Harris “will be a fierce team to #BABBLE – Build America Back Better Law Enforcement.”
Biden campaign manager Jen O’Malley Dillon, formerly the brains behind Beto O’Rourke’s livestreamed colonoscopy, said Joe was unavailable for comment. A moment later Mr. Biden appeared behind her, sniffed her hair, and confirmed that he stands behind Harris.
I still remain concerned that the DNC was convinced that Biden was their great hope in 2020. I mean, that’s hoping for a lot from the Never Trump spirit when they’re running against a womanizing morally-dubious rich white guy with another one who is also off his rocker.
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