Liberals finally stop* running from the Many-Headed Mercenary they created

“Brave Sir Robin ran away
Bravely ran away away
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out”

On July 7, 2020, approximately 150 courageous Knights of Progressivism stopped running away from the Many-Headed Mercenary they themselves had created, and that Conservatives have been laughing at for decades.

As the Knights bravely trotted toward danger and certain death, two serfs they had pledged to protect just happened to pass by. “Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom,” said Serf #1. “Dennis, forget about freedom,” replied Serf #2.

Stunningly Brave Sir Robin stopped directly in front of the Mercenary and declared, “The days when editors are fired for running controversial pieces are over! Books will no longer be withdrawn for alleged inauthenticity! Journalists can write on whatever topics they choose! Professors can quote Shakespeare in class!”

“In that case, I have to kill you,” the Many-Headed Mercenary said.

The initially-courageous knights gallantly chickened out, buggered off, and otherwise bravely scarpered, apologizing profusely for not running away sooner.

“We’re not running away,” Sir Robin said, scarpering through the forest. “But we’re glad to be alive, and are remarkably sorry for daring to endorse the idea that we should defend the very thing on which our work depends.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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