Valerie Jarrett welcomes dog-abusing murdering tax cheat to right side of history

All abused dogs go to the right side of history when they die. They just never expect their abusive masters — who also murdered women, cheated on their taxes, and put black people back in chains — to show up there.

But that’s where Mitt Romney has arrived after marching with Black Lives Matter. And Valerie Jarrett, still a confidante to Barack Obama, welcomed him with open arms.

Not even Hitler abused his dogs, and the former Fuhrer of the Third Reich once deplored Romney’s behavior.

We talked with Seamus the Irish Setter, who told us in stunned disbelief, “Hitler would never have understood how a demented authoritarian white-supremacist Republican who abused his dog could be welcome here, even if he did put black people back in chains. But I’m not judging anyone. Maybe Valerie will welcome Adolf into the Black Lives Matter movement, too.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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