Author nominated for Nobel Prize for economic theory of ‘Symbolic Taking’

As the protests, riots, and shopping sprees honoring George Floyd continue to sweep across the American landscape, a Pulitzer Prize winning author is advancing the theory that “looting” is actually something called “symbolic taking” and Martin Luther King Jr. would have approved of the economic activity.

New York Times writer Nikole Hannah-Jones could take home the 2020 Nobel Prize in Economics because her theory could create or save millions of jobs for black protesters and white extremists alike. She is also being considered for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Critics say the theory destroys the idea that “protesters” aren’t “looters,” but Austrian School economic terrorists agreed to analyze the theory to determine if looting isn’t really looting and whether MLK himself really did justify it.

Austrian Terror Economist A.F. Hayek said any government that accepts the theory should also implement the Communist theory of Symbolic Jobs. “People who engage in Symbolic Taking must have Symbolic Jobs, in which people pretend to work and employers pretend to pay them.”

President Trump pushed back against the Austrian terrorists, saying the new theory justifies substantial cuts in Symbolic Giving by taxpayers.

Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said the Symbolic Taking of peaceful protesters could continue to spread, ultimately causing enough economic activity to replace a $16 trillion reduction in economic growth caused by the coronavirus pandemic.

The stock market reacted positively to the new economic theory, notching gains for the second straight day after the media broadcast optimistic images of protesters symbolically taking from retailers like Target, Walmart, Macy’s and Nordstrom.

Seattle Councilmember Tammy Morales said Symbolic Taking should be taught at the University of Washington.

“Isn’t it a good thing if it costs $100 billion to replace $100 billion of symbolic taking?” Morales asked. “Nike makes more shoes, Target sells more stuff, all their employees make more money, and everyone blesses the symbolic takers. I don’t want my constituents to be told looting doesn’t solve anything, and don’t get me started on the benefits of broken windows.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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