The orthodox view of the Fall of Rome states that the end finally came when Germanic king Odoacer deposed Emperor Romulus Augustulus in the year 467 AD, but new evidence suggests that a large percentage of the Roman population simply became damned imbeciles, or that barbarians cleverly trolled the empire into losing confidence in itself.
A new analysis of the archaeological record by Italian historian Massimo Glupo has shed light on items of clothing that had previously gone unexplained.
“We now think that many citizens in the heart of the Empire began to signal their Roman virtue by wearing garments that allegedly protected them from barbarian invaders, but actually served no purpose except to bring ridicule on themselves and the entire culture,” Dr. Glupo explained.
“The other interpretation is that the barbarians themselves infiltrated Roman culture and mercilessly mocked the Empire into submission,” said Glupo. “But personally, I think lead in the water played a larger role than we once thought.”
Correction: The usual transparent stuff.