A secret report from the Democrat National Committee leaked to Fox News says Republican voters will voluntarily line up on Fifth Avenue in New York, and wait to be shot by Donald Trump after he replaces Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the U.S. Supreme Court.
And then they’ll vote for him anyway.
“We thought it was a joke, but it’s true,” says the DNC report, which also offers several strategies for getting more dead Democrats to the polls than Republicans.
“If all those Republicans vote for Trump after he shoots them, not even the coronavirus deaths in Chicago will be enough to offset the damage,” says the report. “There might be no way for us to win in November.”
The report also suggests that the unfortunate death of Joe Biden, no matter how tragic, could be the only path to victory in 2020.