Analysis: Kathy Griffin announces she has coronavirus, no one cares

Days after announcing the death of her mother on social media to gain sympathy from a world that doesn’t care about her anymore because she’s such a horrid hag, former comedian Kathy Griffin shared a photo of her own masked severed head on Instagram, saying she’s been admitted to hospital and is glad she’ll die from the coronavirus because Vice President Mike Pence will make “The Handmaid’s Tale” into official government policy for all women who don’t die from COVID-19.

In other news, everyone else is glad she’s going to die, too, except people who enjoy watching reruns of her pretending to give Anderson Cooper a blowjob — and Cooper talking about his mother’s oral sex habits — on live national television.

Although we don’t care if all those other people die, either, we were sorry to hear of her mother’s death. But we do wonder if any reporters called her while she was still alive to find out what she thought about her daughter’s career choices.

We also wonder how old Griffin’s mom was, why Griffin so desperately wants Barack Obama back in the White House, and if she — like Obamacare architect Ezekiel J. Emanuel — wanted her mother to die at age 75.

The good news is that Kathy Griffin might die soon. The bad news is that she’s only 59, and could subject us all to another 16 years of her unbearably painful personality before offing herself so no one remembers her as feeble, ineffectual, and pathetic, instead of gross, hateful, and pathetic.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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