New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (C) said the federal government needs to be more Socialist and seize control of the national supply chain to get medical equipment, including ventilators, masks and hand sanitizer, to places that need them.
“Central planners of massive federal government cannot control foundation of where medical supplies and equipment come from,” de Blasio said on CNN’s show “State of the Union of Socialist Republics” while wearing a 30 lb. set of iron chains and bracelets around his wrists.
“With bigger Socialist government, all we have to lose is our broken supply chains,” de Blasio said. “Only hope is Comrade Trump realizes we are in Great Patriotic War against virus, purges capitalist profiteers, and puts Central Committee in charge of production.”
Under de Blasio’s 5-Month Plan, factories would be nationalized, workers put on 24/7 shifts under the supervision of a Political Officer, and goods distributed to areas identified by the Central Committee.
“Just as we did in last war against National Socialist aggression,” de Blasio said. “We are all on our own in so many ways, I would feel better with certainty provided by great leader who is Democrat Socialist, not Trump.”
Correction: Under the most transparent correction policy in media history, the letter “g” has been added to the article. We regret the error, and have executed Comrade Spel Cheka. Comrade de Blasio assures us a new worker will be sent to replace hir.