In a speech to the nation tonight, President Trump announced a massive travel and trade embargo against the European Union, but also said 100,000 American teenagers will storm the beaches of Italy this weekend to fight the coronavirus.
“Each of us has a role to play in defeating this virus, and young, healthy people can expect to recover fully and quickly if they should get the virus,” Trump said. “That’s why three amphibious landings of American teenagers will take place in Salerno, Calabria, and Taranto, with orders to break through to the beleaguered Italians with vaccines, treatments, and other supplies.”
“The highest risk is for the elderly, and young people will be this nation’s next greatest generation after my army of teenagers beats this virus into submission,” said Trump. “If our forces are vigilant, the virus will not have a chance against us.”
After the President’s speech, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) used her Instagram account to call Trump a “racist xenophobe warmonger who just wants to save white Europeans when Americans are literally not patroning Chinese restaurants, they’re not patroning Asian restaurants because of just straight-up racism around the coronavirus.”
“We may be more prepared and more resilient than any other country, but that’s because America was built on colonialist oppression of the economy, healthcare, and science,” she said. “Besides, climate change was supposed be our World War III.”