Coronavirus causes worldwide shortage of powerful vaginas

Western countries this week were hit by a frenzy of panicked men demanding a “powerful vagina” in the belief that female genitalia can ward off the coronavirus.

Thanks to the pop culture myth that it’s impossible to overestimate the power of a vagina, the number of men hoping to get a yoni to steam rose 15% this week, exceeding even the number of irrational men buying six months worth of toilet paper.

Experts say the number of powerful vaginas available worldwide is never more than a few hundred, and the new spike in demand has already caused a shortage.

“We should have seen this coming when women high on hallucinogenic mushrooms started making millions selling vagina-scented candles and men started getting vagina facials,” said Dr. Coño Poderoso, chair of the Gender-Confirmation Advisory Panel in Los Angeles. “As of now, we don’t think we can contain the hysteria, but we might be able to mitigate it.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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