Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) threatened Supreme Court Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh today as far-left pro-abortion forces rallied on the steps of the Supreme Court.
“We know what’s at stake,” Schumer said, his voice rising. Women’s reproductive rights are under attack in a way we haven’t seen in modern history. Republican legislatures are waging a war on women, all women, and they’re taking away fundamental rights!”
Schumer stopped to take his heart medication, to wipe his sweating brow, and continued. “I want to tell you Gorsuch, I want to tell you Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price. You won’t know what hit you if you go forward with these awful decisions.”
As Gorsuch left the courthouse, Schumer stabbed him in the neck. The weapon still red with blood, he shouted, “Hark! My blade is taken out of context, for this perceived threat was but a warning to Republican senators!”
CNN reporter Jim Acosta rushed to Schumer’s aid. “Liberty!” cried Acosta. “Freedom! Tyranny is dead! Run hence, proclaim, cry it about the streets.”
Worried she would miss another moment in front of the cameras, Nancy Pelosi weighed in. “Away! Every person away!” she proclaimed. “Schumer shall lead, and we will grace his heels with the most boldest and best Dreamer hearts of America!”
Joe Biden, fresh from his Super Tuesday victory over the barbarian forces in flyover country, stepped up to Gorsuch’s body.
“O, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth, that I am meek and gentle with these butchers!” Biden wept. “Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood! All pity choked with custom of fell deeds. And Gorsuch’s spirit, ranging for revenge, with hate by his side come hot from Hell, shall in these confines with a justice’s voice cry ‘havoc’ and let slip the lying dog face pony soldiers of war!”