U.S. news media arms TV trucks with bleach, sprays entire cities to stop spread of information

American media oligarchs are preparing cities and towns across the country for the Democratic Primaries by outfitting TV trucks with massive bleach sprayers to eliminate any source of illicit information.

“We’ve sprayed down almost every block of every city in New Hampshire before the Feb. 11 primary,” said Jeff Zucker, Chairman of CNN Worldwide. “But we’ll be doing another sweep late tonight just to make sure no unverified news remains on the streets.”

Crews from local TV stations, equipped with bottles filled with household disinfectants, are disinfecting smaller nooks and crannies that could be missed by the national conglomerates.

“It’s not just the big national news that needs cleansing,” said an internal memo sent to staff at CBS Sacramento Channel 13. “Local events giving any impression that people don’t want Socialism must also be isolated and exterminated.”

The nationwide news decontamination has been going on for some time, but is especially critical in 2020 because median household income has hit the highest level ever recorded and unemployment rates for African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, Asian-Americans, and Americans without a high school diploma are all at the lowest rates ever recorded.

“If people start getting the idea that being self-sufficient is good for them and their children, our dream of a Democratic Socialist state could be in real jeopardy,” said an internal memo at MSNBC.

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