In a professionally made but ordinary campaign appearance, Constable Joe Biden of the North American Mounties confronted a young, female, lying, dog-faced, pony soldier in his quest to become Great White Father.

“You’re arguably the candidate with the greatest advantage,” said the woman, who had obviously never ridden a horse. “You don’t carry the white man’s burden, so how do you explain your 4th place finish in Iowa behind a gay man, a Communist, and a Native American woman?”

Biden responded by telling the audience it was a good question. “That’s a good question, but you’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier,” he said. “I’m gonna be honest with you, don’t be terrified by the mirage that they can beat me. Even Elizabeth Warren admits I have powerful medicine.”

Biden said the First Black President had sent him to make peace with with the two tribes that run North America.

“Under my administration, the Mounties will enforce the same laws for Democrats and Republicans, and you will not go hungry if you return home and vote for me,” Biden said.

Biden campaign representatives dismissed the the talk about pony soldiers, powerful medicine, and Mounties as a classic movie reference without actually naming the movie.

“It’s a joke,” said Remi Yamamoto, Biden’s traveling national press secretary. “It’s from a Tyrone Power movie and he’s said all that stuff plenty of times before.”