Democrat bill would apply Iowa Caucus math to Electoral College

After failing to abolish the 12th Amendment to the Constitution in time for the November 2020 election, Congressional Democrats have introduced House Joint Resolution 42, which would apply to the Electoral College mathematics similar to that used in the Iowa Caucus.

“The Electoral College is undemocratic and boring,” said Pete Buttigieg, who is leading in the Iowa vote tally but has still not been declared the winner 96 hours after the caucus closed. “HJR 42 would replace that with something equally undemocratic but way more exciting, and in a democracy voter turnout is king.”

The Resolution proposes a two-stage process that erases the first votes cast by the Electors, and then suppresses would-be votes with attendance rules. The resulting chaos would be so exciting that no one would ever be sure about the outcome.

Democrats insist the new rules would boost voter turnout, and reject Republican concerns about transparency.

Under the rules of HJR 42, New Electors proclaim the candidate for whom they will cast their vote. A first count is taken and the candidate who received at least 50.0001% percent of the popular vote is considered the First Alignment winner.

At this point, a Second Alignment vote is taken. To decide how many votes are awarded to each candidate:

  1. Electors multiply Electoral Votes for each candidate by the total number of voters in their state.
  2. Each county in the state then reports the number of voters who did not vote in the election. The number of voters who stayed home, or were left in line after the polls closed, are awarded to the Democrat candidate. The number of voters who didn’t vote, but had their vote illegally cast by someone else, are also given to the Democrat.
  3. The final number is divided by the total number of “popular votes” cast, the quotient is rounded to the nearest whole number, and coin flips decide how Electoral votes are awarded.

“Even if the New Electoral College fails spectacularly like the Iowa Caucus, the final result virtually guarantees a Democrat president,” said Buttigieg. “When it comes to representing the will of the people, we should only care about those who believe in math.”

Correction: An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated that “the number of voters left in line after the polls closed are awarded to the Republican candidate.” Also, Mr. Buttigieg was incorrectly quoted. Republicans don’t get any extra votes because they don’t believe in math.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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