Bernie wins Iowa, organizers predict 26.3% chance they won’t burn Milwaukee

Update: With 71% of precincts reporting, new results put Pete Buttigieg ahead of Bernie Sanders, 26.8% to 25.2%. Sanders campaign organizers have revoked their previous forecast about whether Milwaukee will burn, and won’t issue a new estimate unless Bernie wins.

Grassroots organizers for Bernie Sanders announced today there’s a 26.3% chance they won’t burn Milwaukee, Wisc., before the November election, but would not give the odds if Sanders fails to win the White House.

“Bernie won just over a quarter of the Iowa delegates, but the numbers are still coming in,” said organizer Kyle Sergeyevich Khrushchevski. “If Bernie gets the nomination, there’s at least a 26.3% chance we won’t f—ing burn Milwaukee.”

Martin Edelweiss, a Sanders field organizer in South Carolina, said, “We think 45% of voters are ready for the f—ing revolution, bro, and if Bernie doesn’t win, I’ll straight up get armed. But we still have some work to do on the female demographic.”

Incomplete caucus results say women make up 58% of caucus voters, but just 20% support the revolution. Among the 25% of voters aged 17-29, 48% voted for Sanders and revolution. The numbers in favor of “guillotining the rich” fall sharply among older voters.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.