
Not to be outdone by Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who told an Iowa audience that a 9-year-old transgender boy would pick her Secretary of Education, Sen. Bernie Sanders announced today that the Communist Youth League would pick his Secretary of Defense.
Early interviews by Communist youths of color indicate that former 2nd Lt. Spenser Rapone, who openly supported the downfall of the U.S. government while attending West Point, is among the leading candidates for Secretary of Defense.
The Sacramento Brie pledges itself to ongoing coverage of this historic news.