Berkeley, Calif. (Reuters) — A disturbing number of people on the Internet think the Corona beer virus outbreak in China was caused by a Harvard professor of chemical biology, who has been accused of lying about financial ties to a Communist Chinese program to recruit foreign scientists.
Others say Chinese scientists drunk on Mexican beer allowed the virus to escape from the Wuhan National Biosafety Laboratory, the only lab in China designated for studying dangerous pathogens like SARS and Ebola.
The truth is that the Corona beer virus was inadvertently unleashed by drunken alien scientists studying climate change in Earth’s solar system.
According to news reports, the crew of a donut-shaped alien craft were allowed shore leave on Sol, and took the opportunity to drink in excess and indulge in other pleasures denied to them during the long interstellar voyage from their home planet.
“We first detected the Corona beer virus in solar flares ejected in the general direction of Earth,” said noted astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson. “Unfortunately, Wuhan was directly in alignment with the solar winds just as they hit our planet.”
Tyson and other scientists, who have long doubted the Sun’s role in climate change, are closely monitoring the virus situation.
“We will alert the media if the alien captain tries to press human crew members into service to replace the aliens who deserted during shore leave on the Sun,” Tyson said.