Up-and-coming satirical news site tells Google Corporate, ‘The Babylon Bee has the Ring, not us’

Sacramento (SacBrie) — Huey P. “Navin” Newsom, the disowned nephew of Pope Gavin Newsom, noticed a foreboding statistic in the traffic logs of his small, but growing, right-wing satire site.

Someone was visiting The Sacramento Brie from Google’s corporate intranet.

“At first, I thought, ‘wow, that’s cool’,” said Newsom, a 50-something former black child from Oakland who invented the sanctuary city. “And then I thought, ‘the Eye of Sundar has noticed me.'”

A cold sweat ran down his spine, and Newsom knew he had to do something. So he wrote an article.

“Up-and-coming satirical news site tells Google Corporate, ‘The Babylon Bee has the Ring, not us’,” blared the headline, accompanied by a shockingly fake but accurate image of the evil company’s omnipresent logo rising like a giant eye out of San Francisco Bay.

“We don’t wish any harm to the Bee or its employees, but it is the only newspaper in the city that twice claimed the title ‘largest city in the world‘,” Newsom said. “If anyone has the Ring, they do.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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