LA Times journalists stage ‘die in’ after failing to immanentize the Obama eschaton

A decade after becoming convinced that the disorder of the world could be transcended with smart power wielded by a leader of extraordinary insight, distraught journalists at the Los Angeles Times staged a “die in” at the company’s printing plant.

“We discussed committing mass suicide, but the optics weren’t right, and besides that the die in is popular among today’s youth,” said Executive Editor Norman Pearlstine, who authorized the protest.

“We really thought Obama was a lightworker who was going to immanentize the eschaton,” said City Editor Hector Becerra. “And instead of that we’re writing stories about Extinction Rebellion and the Cult of Trump.”

Almost half of the newsroom staff, and a handful of executives, laid down on the printing plant floor for 15 minutes before singing “Amazing Grace” and “To Sir With Love” and returning to the hard work of putting America back on the right side of history.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.