Supreme Leader of Iran to play drums on James Taylor’s 2020 ‘Twelver Tour’ of Canada

“You’ve got a friend,” Iran.

Folk singer-songwriter James Taylor has announced 12 upcoming concert dates in Canada for 2020, and the supreme leader of Iran has graciously agreed to play drums for what’s being billed as the “Twelver Tour.”

“Mr. Khamenei is the perfect addition to the band because he’s a Twelver, we’re playing 12 dates, and I feel this deep need to apologize to Iran for the spontaneous protest of the American embassy in Baghdad,” Taylor said.

Twelver is the largest branch of Shia Islam, and refers to the twelve divinely ordained leaders, known as the Twelve Imams.

In addition to being a Twelver, Khamenei is the second-longest serving head of state in the Middle East, and the second-longest serving Iranian leader of the last century.

Khamenei learned to play drums from an unknown American during the 444-day takeover of the embassy in Tehran between November 4, 1979, and January 20, 1981. This will be his first public performance, since his faith does not allow him to play music inside the borders of Iran.

“The only thing that could be better is if the Mahdi and Jesus returned on May 5 when we play the Mile One Centre in St. John’s,” Taylor said.

When asked why he joined James Taylor’s band, Supreme Leader Khamenei said, “It’s all about the Volk. Bada-bing-bada-boom. Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the hummus.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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