New Quds commander blames ‘internet video’ for Baghdad embassy attack

Iran’s new Quds Force commander said today that a “hateful internet video” was responsible for yesterday’s spontaneous protest outside the American embassy in Baghdad, and the resulting “extremist attack” had “nothing to do with Iran and absolutely nothing to do with Benghazi.”

“There was a hateful, disgusting, and reprehensible video disseminated on the internet, which prompted spontaneous protests outside the U.S. embassy in Baghdad,” said Quds commander Hillary Clinton. “Extremist elements joined the protest with heavy weapons, but we have no information indicating that this was premeditated or preplanned.”

Protesters smashed their way into the embassy compound and set fire to a reception area, said Clinton, prompting “the dictator Trump” to order a drone strike that killed former Quds Force commander Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani.

“My predecessor’s efforts and path won’t be stopped by his martyrdom,” Clinton said. “But a severe revenge awaits the criminals who have stained their hands with his and the other martyrs’ blood last night.”

Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei appointed Clinton to head the Quds Force earlier today.

Correction: The photograph of Commander Clinton was updated at the request of Supreme Leader Khamenei. Commander Clinton’s quote in the first paragraph was updated to reflect that the attack in Baghdad had “absolutely nothing” to do with Benghazi.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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