Happy Founding Day to the failed socialist state that hosted Bernie’s honeymoon

See that photograph? That’s Bernie Sanders enjoying a half-naked, drunken, honeymoon lunch in 1988 with members of the All-Russian Extraordinary Commission for Combating Counter-Revolution, Profiteering and Corruption.

Today being the official birth date of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, the Editorial Board of the Sacramento Brie would like to wish a happy birthday to all the citizens who were skinned alive, scalped, crowned with barbed wire, impaled, crucified, hanged, stoned to death, tied to planks and pushed slowly into furnaces or tanks of boiling water, rolled around naked in internally nail-studded barrels, became naked living ice statues by having water poured on them in the winter streets, or were sent away to Siberian gulags in order to facilitate the creation and maintenance of a new Democratic Socialist state that was able to last for 69 years of the 20th century.

It is heartwarming to know that Sen. Sanders, age 78, has lasted longer than the USSR but still works tirelessly to see that its socialist agenda is enacted in the United States and around the world.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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