Hey, kids, we’re going to teach you how to make your very own impeachment detector out of the household items you see above. But first, we all know how important education is, so let’s find out how it works.
Of course, the reason for making your detector is to find out if the impeachment of President Trump is succeeding or failing. We asked astronomer Webb Hubbell, inventor of the Hubbell Telescope and father of Chelsea Clinton.
“The success or failure of impeachment can be known by measuring whether political radiation is being absorbed by the electorate or not,” Hubbell says. “When impeachment is moving toward us — becoming more likely — the electorate is absorbing more of the compressed toxic radiation emitted by politicians.”
“We call that the blueshift,” Hubbell says, “and unfortunately what we’re seeing is the opposite. The Trump impeachment is undergoing a dramatic redshift, which indicates that it is moving rapidly away from the electorate and causing less radiation damage as it recedes.”
So, kids, when impeachment moves away from the observer, the radiation is shifted to the Republican end of the spectrum because its wavelengths get longer and less toxic. If an impeachment is moving closer, the radiation wavelength gets shorter — more compressed and toxic — and moves to the Democrat end of the spectrum.
Okay, so how do we make our detector? Well, there’s a picture of our finished detector below, and we’re pretty sure you can make one yourself without any rules at all.
Just take a box, a CD or DVD, a business card, a cardboard tube, aluminum tape, cellophane tape, scissors, and a writing utensil, throw them into your mom’s clothes dryer for 15 minutes and whatever comes out is an impeachment detector!
Now get out there and detect impeachment just like Democrats in the House of Representatives. It’s easy, and anyone can do it!