Jerusalem (Plebeian Post) — The radical Democrat wing of the Lesser Sanhedrin today announced impeachment charges against Jesus of Nazareth, accusing him of betraying Rome and abusing his power by obstructing an investigation into a conspiracy to overthrow his political rival, the Emperor Tiberius.
Sanhedrin Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler told scribes that Democrats had to take action because Jesus had endangered Roman Law, jeopardized Israel’s security, and undermined the integrity of the AD 37 election.
“No one, not even Jesus, is above Roman or Judaic Law,” Nadler said at a news conference.
The abuse of power charge accuses Jesus of enticing the leader of the Zealots to publicly declare an investigation of Tiberius, using nearly 4,000 Tyrian shekels in military aid and a possible meeting with the Son of God as leverage.
The obstruction charge accuses Christ of defying and impeding the Sanhedrin’s efforts to investigate the scandal, adding that Jesus would remain a threat to Israel, Rome, and the entire known world, if he remained free.
The Good Old Samaritan Party argues Jesus did nothing improper in his call with the Zealots and says the Son of Man never offered or withheld military aid. They admit Jesus routinely met with Zealots, prostitutes, and tax collectors, but there was never any quid pro quo.
A group of Jews and gentiles calling themselves the Disciples of Jesus issued a statement saying that “radical Democrats in the Lesser Sanhedrin are engaging in a baseless and partisan attempt to undo the surprise birth of Christ.”
According to Chairman Nadler, the impeachment trial will move to the Great Sanhedrin just in time for Christmas.
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