Planet Earth (Reuters) — Nothing. That’s what happened when Climate Activists told youthful Millennials to stop buying new $1,000 iPhones because the carbon footprint of a paltry 80 million phones is greater than the total annual carbon footprint of 770,000 people and all of the business activity in three central areas of just one of the world’s richest cities — the London boroughs of Westminster, Lambeth and Camden — and Apple has sold over 2 billion iPhones since the first model came out in 2007.
“Like, okay boomer, I know the carbon footprint of 2 billion iPhones is 152 billion kilograms of CO2,” said one 15-year-old school girl at a Climate Strike in Madrid, Spain. “But how do you expect me to organize a school strike without texting all my friends?”
Millennials on every continent expressed the same disbelief that the totality of their climate virtue could actually be harming the planet, but vegetarians were especially bewildered.
“How dare you tell me that eating less meat and buying fewer iPhones is an ineffective and unachievable policy response when we all need to demand each other to maintain a flexitarian diet to keep the rise in global temperatures from reaching 2 degrees celsius,” said a nonbinary transgender vegan 13-year-old who claimed to be from Stockholm.
Apple expects to sell another 2 billion iPhones in the next 12 years, mostly to Millennials.