New Hampton, Iowa (MSNBC) — Police arrested Joe Biden on several counts of microaggression after the presidential candidate reacted like a typical old white man when another typical old white man asked him questions about Ukraine and his son, Hunter Biden.
The former Vice President, who is white and recently turned 77, called an 83-year-old retired white man a “damn liar,” challenged him to a fitness test, and — in an act of extreme microaggression — suggested he would lose in a duel of Rorschach tests.
Biden was taken into custody by a SWAT team, and had to be shielded from a mob of angry white millennials who shouted various insults including “angry old white male” and “OK boomer.”
Biden told the youths to “shut yer yap” and said he had to “walk to school up hill both ways in the snow” when he was young, adding that they were too stupid to know “malarkey and baloney are the same thing.”
The District Attorney’s office said charges against Mr. Biden include hate speech, fat shaming, ageism, and microaggression. He is currently in a safe space while police investigate the mob of millennials for hate speech, ageism, and microaggression.