Venezula hikes minimum wage, pays workers 275% more ‘less than zero’ Bolivars

Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro has unilaterally saved the country from yet another economic crisis by raising the minimum wage only 275%, keeping hyperinflation well under 1 million percent, a key goal of socialist economists.

The new plan proves that workers of Venezuela continue to rescue each other with true Socialism, and workers will also receive a generous food bonus worth 150,000 bolivars, courtesy of The Bolivar Store which recently opened nationwide.

“Our extreme honesty does not allow the government to demoralize the people by providing data on price increases,” said lawmaker Francisco Torrealba, a former labor minister and close ally to Maduro. “But we are providing both confidence and stability by paying 150,000 bolivars per hour instead of 40,000.”

The opposition National Assembly says annual inflation in Venezuela is 50,100%. Torrealba would neither confirm nor deny the veracity of the claim, saying only that enemies of the Bolivarian Republic merely prove Maduro’s success in keeping inflation down.

“How many times must I repeat the truth?” said National Treasury chief Nelson Reinaldo Lepaje Salazar. “Those who do have bolivars to spend are patriotically buying Zero Bolivar Karl Marx bills, enabling the government to raise the minimum wage 275% for people who have no bolivars to spend.”

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