Waymo 3D mapping project discovers ‘Bronze Age Los Angeles’ in Los Angeles

Waymo’s project to map Los Angeles in 3D has discovered an ancient “Bronze Age Los Angeles” hidden in plain sight in the heart of Los Angeles, and sociologists say the findings confirm what we’ve always known about the demons who run the City of Angels.

Life in the Bronze Age was ugly, brutish, and short, and dominated by a small number of royal elites who invented the first legal codes, according to sociologist Desiree Abrigados. But, in many ways, some people living in 2019 LA are worse off than they would have been 5,000 years ago.

“At least Hammurabi demanded an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,” Abrigados said. “You lose an eye on the mean streets of Bronze Age Los Angeles, good luck getting Mayor Garcetti to pay up.”

Just like the first cities in ancient Mesopotamia, citizens in LA struggle with leprosy, typhus, and plague, said Abrigados. However, no one believed that 21st century self-driving vehicles would discover people living like people lived in 3000 BC.

The real Bronze Age ended abruptly around 1200 BC in the Middle East, North Africa and Mediterranean Europe. Historians don’t know exactly what caused the collapse, but they predict that big Democrat cities in America could collapse in the same way.

“What we do know is that the end was sudden, violent, and culturally disruptive,” said Abrigados. “Just like 3,200 years ago, many people believe Los Angeles could end the same way.”

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