O’Rourke livestreams colonoscopy, hopes to catch Sanders in the polls

Democrat candidate Robert Francis O’Rourke livestreamed his colonoscopy on Periscope today, hoping to boost his poll numbers and catch Bernie Sanders who underwent emergency open heart surgery on Tuesday.

The procedure lasted thirty minutes, most of which Beto spent under general anesthesia.

“We can’t beat open heart surgery for sheer drama,” said campaign manager and fellow Irishman Jen O’Malley Dillon. “But we can let people know that Beto is just like them only better, because who else is feckin’ cla enough to post their colonoscopy on the Internet?”

Earlier in the week, Beto livestreamed his flu shot and his poll numbers dropped almost a half percentage point.

“If he doesn’t rebound before the next Democratic debate, we may have to consider a more serious medical procedure,” said Dillon.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

2 thoughts

  1. Flu shots and colonoscopies do not compare to what Dan Crenshaw, Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Texas’s 2nd district went through fighting for this country and losing his right eye and other injuries in battle. ROBERT YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.


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