O’Rourke asks to be impeached as campaign cash collapses

Presidential hopeful Robert O’Rourke’s fundraising efforts have so completely collapsed that the candidate has reportedly asked Congress to impeach him.

Sources said President Trump’s massive fundraising wave has traumatized Beto into demanding he be impeached immediately, preferably before the next Democrat debate.

“He’s desperate,” said a source who requested anonymity. “When Nancy [Pelosi] announced the Trump impeachment inquiry, Beto was ecstatic. And then we found out he’d raised more money in 24 hours than Beto did in the entire second quarter.”

Others say O’Rourke was humiliated by the news.

“He was fixin’ to do real well for the next debate, and now he feels like a damn fool,” said a senior campaign staffer from O’Rourke’s Texas office. “If he don’t get impeached by somebody right quick, that ship may just tump over.”

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