Despite continuing attacks by Leftist warmongers driven insane by peace-loving, inclusive Christians, Chick-fil-A and In-N-Out Burger have again exchanged the title of “favorite fast food restaurant in America.”
This year, to the horror of angry intersectional feminists everywhere, Chick-fil-A took the top honor by offering customers the best food quality, speed of service, value for money, healthy options, overall cleanliness, staff friendliness, curb appeal, and atmosphere.
In-N-Out took second place, but vowed to fight back by being even nicer next year. Both restaurants feature loving Bible verses on cups and other meal containers.
Leftists responded to the news by demanding another failed boycott of the most polite restaurant workers in the country.
“When evil Christian restaurant owners force their workers to serve healthy food and be nice to people, we have to act,” said third-wave feminist Lovechild Vaginica. “This will not stand.”
The usual nationwide coalition of Progressive nonprofit political action astroturfing organizations has pledged $10 million in “walking around money” to deploy its standing army of unemployed protesters before winter makes the campaign impossible.
“The enemy has overextended themselves,” said AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka, noting that the success of Christian capitalists has created a “salient that is surrounded by our forces on three sides.”
“Our army of activists will cut behind the Crusader infidels while they’re focused on speed of service and value for money,” Trumka said. “Then we will encircle and annihilate them.”
