Cardi B allegedly tricks Bernie into sex video, drugs him, steals campaign donations

The Internet is waiting breathlessly for the Bernie Sanders campaign video with Cardi B, but the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Michigan has allegedly said a very different kind of video was in the works.

“Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, previously arrested for assault and reckless endangerment, told an infirm senior citizen, Bernard Sanders, that she was filming a political campaign video,” U.S. Attorney Matthew Schneider allegedly said.

“We have recovered evidence that Ms. Almánzar planned to produce a fantasy sex video of Mr. Sanders being gang raped by herself, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., Rep. Rashida Tlaib, D-Mich., Rep. Ilhan Omar, D-Minn., and Rep. Ayanna Pressley, D-Mass.,” Schneider reportedly said.

“The evidence shows that Ms. Almánzar and the Squad then intended to drug Mr. Sanders and steal millions in campaign donations to fund their projects,” Schneider reportedly said.

“I was working on a way to involve more young people in the political process, because the future of America depends on young people,” said Mr. Sanders. “They are voting in large numbers, but not large enough numbers. If this sex video brings them to the polls, then I would do it again.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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