IKEA closing U.S. factory, ‘workers can’t figure out how to make our furniture’

Swedish furniture maker IKEA is closing its only U.S. factory because workers educated under U.S. common core standards say the company’s manufacturing instructions are “incomprehensible,” according to founder Ingvar Kamprad.

Known for rigorous and logical analytical processes, Mr. Kamprad said IKEA “made every effort” to pass that culture on to U.S. employees, but ultimately failed.

“Our American workers tried to make things too complicated,” Kamprad said. “I told them 2+2=4, but they insisted on using something called ‘front-end estimation’ to find the ‘reasonable’ answer. It just doesn’t work that way on the factory floor.”

“Unfortunately, educational conditions in America are not in place to continue production,” said Kamprad. “We will do everything we can in the coming months to help our workers find less logical work.”

The factory opened in 2008 — before American schools implemented the new standards in math and language arts — to produce wood shelves and storage units for the US and Canadian markets.

The plant will close in December, taking 300 jobs with it.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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