Treasury: AOC to be fourth woman on American money

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be the fourth woman to appear on American money after a majority of state governors successfully lobbied the U.S. Treasury for the “zero cent” penny.

“Everyone knows the penny is worthless, but it’s also so deeply embedded in American history that we can’t get rid of it,” said Arizona Governor Doug Ducey, who is also the state’s former Treasurer. “Ted’s idea is sublime, and I can think of no better way to honor America than putting AOC on the zero-cent penny.”

The idea for the coin came from U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), a vocal critic of South American Socialism whose parents emigrated to the U.S. from Cuba.

“I had the idea after hearing AOC praise Venezuelan monetary policy,” Cruz said. “Since Democrats want worthless money, we’ll give them worthless money.”

Governor Kay Ivey of Alabama said she voted for the zero-cent penny because of AOC’s redistributionist policies.

“Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez supports the radical redistribution of wealth, and I wanted to show my support by letting Democrats buy the zero-cent penny so we can take their money and give it to people who have no money to spend,” Ivey said.

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin said he already has plans to release the “less than zero cent” as a way of further honoring the Democrat congresswoman’s love for America.

Mnuchin also addressed the heated debate over the $20 bill featuring Harriet Tubman.

“Contrary to popular belief, Harriet Tubman would not have been the first woman on American money,” Mnuchin said. “Unfortunately, that distinction goes to Lucy Pickens, wife of South Carolina’s Democrat Governor Francis Pickens who owned 276 slaves.”

The other women to appear on American money were Pocahontas in 1865 and 1875, and Martha Washington in 1886 and 1891.

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