ThinkProgress for sale, staff to get training in BASIC coding language

ThinkProgress, the flagship news site of the Democratic think tank Center for American Progress, is up for sale.

The site has never been profitable and now faces $3 million in debt. Started 14 years ago during the Bush administration, ThinkProgress made up its shortfalls with other people’s money and launched several major progressive luminaries.

“Despite the financial strain, we still have enough money to train every staff member in Beginner’s All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code after we fire them,” said Navin Nayak, executive director of the Center for American Progress Action Fund.

Since Donald Trump was elected president, advertising revenues have dried up and traffic has dipped.

Editor in Chief Jodi Enda said she is “stunned.”

“We thought CAP could continue covering our deficits,” Enda said. “I’m stunned that they think we’re too big a financial drain to continue the socialist rationalizations. It’s a ThinkProgress axiom that you can never run out of other people’s money.”

“CAP is just a bunch of capitalist sellouts,” Enda said. “I can’t believe Trump broke us and I’m learning to code.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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