Islam rushes to complete global takeover before the next Year of the Dog in 2030

The world’s best hope for multicultural tolerance is stepping up its worldwide campaign of extreme peace, in the hope that it will be complete before the next Chinese Year of the Dog occurs in 2030.

The goal is important for many Muslims because dogs — or at least various physical and religious aspects of dogs — are considered to be impure.

“It will be difficult to achieve,” said British social and political activist Anjem Choudary, who has already formed seven Islamic organizations banned by the UK government. “But if Allah wills it this time, anything is possible.”

“Dog hair is impure and a prayer space needs to be pure,” said Choudary. “Also, the saliva of dogs is impure, and angelic messengers will not enter a home with dogs in it.”

The implication of such extreme impurity raises important questions about the program of world domination, especially in an urban environment. And Choudary admits that Islamic domination of China could be unlikely in only a decade.

“China is re-educating Muslims on a massive scale, so our domination of the East may have to wait a few hundred years,” said Choudary. “That’s one reason we’re focused on the West.”

In many cities — especially in America — the growing homeless population treasures dogs as necessary companions on the mean, infected, streets of liberal cesspools like Los Angeles and San Francisco.

“Generally speaking, Muslims don’t mind extreme poverty,” said Choudary. “But dogs lead to the rapid spread of disease. Just one run-in with an aggressive or diseased animal can result in excessive caution, fear, and negativity.”

Choudary says an outright ban on dogs would purify homeless camps that are now breeding grounds for typhus, cholera, and bubonic plague, and that purity would radiate outward to the rest of society.

“Obviously, it would be better to outlaw canines and make Islamic prayer mandatory for all,” said Choudary, a former lawyer. “You don’t want bubonic plague, do you? Islam is the answer.”

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