Sacramento Zoo to host BBQ instead of moving animals to new location

Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg will be the featured grillmaster at this weekend’s Sacramento Zoo BBQ, where animals will be fed to city residents in lieu of moving the zoo to a new location.

“We’re just cutting to the chase,” said Mayor Steinberg. “Rather than waiting for full socialism to come to us, we’re going full socialist while we can still control the outcome.”

The BBQ has the full support of the Zoo and the City Council.

“We thought long and hard about the future viability of the zoo, especially after our delegation came home from the Caricuao Zoo in Venezuela,” Steinberg said. “Even Google calls it the ‘starving people and animal place.’

“Did we want status quo, expansion of the existing site, or relocation?” Steinberg asked rhetorically. “After considering the site’s aged infrastructure, carbon footprint, lack of parking, and the likelihood of eventually barbecuing the animals anyway, we felt we had no choice.”

The feast will be held this weekend, June 8-9, 2019. Zoo officials are asking diners to bring their own drinks, silverware, and a hearty multicultural appetite.

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