‘Giant asshole’ remains open to Democrat voters in 2020

“I’m so fucking proud of you guys,” said self-admitted giant asshole Beto O’Rourke after losing to Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX).

The giant asshole remains open to Democrat voters in the 2020 presidential campaign because his staff “never allowed [his] shortcomings to get in the way.”

“I just feel very, very lucky, and I love you guys more than you’ll ever know,” the giant asshole said. “If you like fucking your government, you can keep fucking your government. JK.”

O’Rourke made the comments on an HBO documentary that premieres today, and Mayor Pete Buttigieg immediately announced that Beto would be his vice-presidential running mate.

“I need a giant asshole in the Oval Office,” Mayor Pete said.

The Buttigieg/O’Rourke campaign has not yet released its new slogan.

Correction: This article has been updated to clarify that Mr. O’Rourke was “just kidding” about “fucking your government” under a Beto Administration, although he did not provide an expiration date for the promise.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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