Protected bird lays eggs in DNC headquarters, Democrats postpone 2020 election

Democrats called for a postponement of the 2020 election after a killdeer bird laid her eggs on the astroturf in the Washington, DC, headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.

“Our decision to postpone the election is solely to protect the bird and her unborn chicks,” said DNC Chair Tom Perez. “It has nothing to do with Joe Biden’s failed harassment apology, Pete Buttigieg’s claim that gay marriage is conservative and brings him closer to God, the Green New Deal, or our support for post-birth abortions.”

The killdeer, or Charadrius vociferus, is one of 1,016 birds on the list of species protected by the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. It derives its name from the Provençal word charra (“chatter”) which became “charade” and the Latin vociferari (“to shout, yell”).

Both the bird and the Democrats have become known for a loud and absurd pretense intended to create a respectable appearance.

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