A new report from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission pins blame for the 2017 Oroville dam failure on unequal access to the secret sex lair hidden deep inside the structure.
Even worse, says the report, failure to properly retrofit the sex lair for equitable access by trans, non-binary, and other gender non-conforming persons could doom the dam to failure again this spring.
“Rightfully wronged non-conforming persons could take offense at the lack of gender-neutral coitus appliances, potentially leading to neglect of the spillway outflow spigot,” says the report.
Original instructions for the sex lair, dating from 1971, were discovered two years ago and still do not conform to non-conforming language confirmed as conformed by the EEOC.
That lack of conformation is especially troubling because the Sierra snowpack is at 173 percent of average, and Oroville dam inflows are running twice the outflows.
EEOC officials are racing to make access to the sex lair equitable before another dam catastrophe threatens citizens downstream.