Sanders to end 911 emergency system for black community

A day after protesters shouted “Sac PD, we don’t want you, we don’t need you” at a celebration for police shooting victim Stephon Clark, Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) has revealed a plan to end the 911 emergency system for the black community.

The plan would phase out 911 responses in black neighborhoods across the country by the year 2031, and use the savings to fund healthcare and white privilege curriculum in public schools.

“We gon’ eliminate 911 to fund national healthcare,” Sanders said in his best Hillary Clinton accent. “Y’all be callin’ 411 instead.”

That message is resonating in cities like Sacramento and Oakland, where residents would rather call their armed neighbors during a home invasion robbery than call the police.

“I’m still evaluating the ‘armed neighbors’ concept, but the plan has merit,” said Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg. “The police are biased toward white people anyway, so keeping them out of black communities where they don’t belong would go a long way toward ending white privilege.”

Oakland church elder Brother Maynard had a slightly different reason for supporting the plan. “I’d rather die at the hands of a brother who holds his gun sideways than a cracker cop with a vendetta,” said Maynard, who added that Sanders is giving the black community yet another compelling reason to vote for him in the upcoming 2020 election.

“My congregation used to call 911 at least twice a month,” he said, “but now it feels like we have blood on our hands, so we’re prepared to have our entire congregation die in a mass shooting rather than call the cops.”

Sanders said mass shootings would be a thing of the past under his plan, which calls for government-funded mercenaries from Black Liberation Collective to keep neighborhoods safe from crime.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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