Sanders to end 911 emergency system for black community

A day after protesters shouted “Sac PD, we don’t want you, we don’t need you” at a celebration for police shooting victim Stephon Clark, Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) has revealed a plan to end the 911 emergency system for the black community.

The plan would phase out 911 responses in black neighborhoods across the country by the year 2031, and use the savings to fund healthcare and white privilege curriculum in public schools.

“We gon’ eliminate 911 to fund national healthcare,” Sanders said in his best Hillary Clinton accent. “Y’all be callin’ 411 instead.”

That message is resonating in cities like Sacramento and Oakland, where residents would rather call their armed neighbors during a home invasion robbery than call the police.

“I’m still evaluating the ‘armed neighbors’ concept, but the plan has merit,” said Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg. “The police are biased toward white people anyway, so keeping them out of black communities where they don’t belong would go a long way toward ending white privilege.”

Oakland church elder Brother Maynard had a slightly different reason for supporting the plan. “I’d rather die at the hands of a brother who holds his gun sideways than a cracker cop with a vendetta,” said Maynard, who added that Sanders is giving the black community yet another compelling reason to vote for him in the upcoming 2020 election.

“My congregation used to call 911 at least twice a month,” he said, “but now it feels like we have blood on our hands, so we’re prepared to have our entire congregation die in a mass shooting rather than call the cops.”

Sanders said mass shootings would be a thing of the past under his plan, which calls for government-funded mercenaries from Black Liberation Collective to keep neighborhoods safe from crime.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.