Rich protesters shut down city streets, demand poor people ‘read to your kids’

Sacramento, CA — Protesters with annual incomes of $250,000 or greater shut down neighborhood streets near Luther Burbank High School last night, demanding that poor residents “come out and explain why you won’t read to your kids.”

The protest against violence and illiteracy came in response to low-income protesters who shut down a local shopping mall, a rich East Sacramento neighborhood, and a City Council meeting, in recent days.

“Frankly, we’re tired of illiterate baby daddies who take drugs and vandalize homes instead of helping their children become educated adults,” said Najveći Mozak, a refugee from 1980s communist Yugoslavia who now owns and operates a chain of Sacramento restaurants.

“If Stephon Clark had been at home reading to his two children, he wouldn’t be dead right now,” said Wilma Goodall, a stay-at-home mom.

Clark died in a hail of bullets in 2018 after police responded to a 911 caller saying a man wearing a black hoodie and dark pants was vandalizing cars and jumping backyard fences in a south Sacramento neighborhood. A postmortem of Clark’s body revealed a toxic mixture of alcohol, codeine, marijuana, and cocaine.

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